Category Archives: Encouragement

Equal (even if the law doesn’t know it)

obama20_sq-6f9b96594e0aed00c1be3884cd0f8266508ee364-s6-c10-2‎”Our Journey is not complete until our gay brothers and sisters are treated equally under the law.” – President Obama, Jan 21, 2013 in his inaugural address.

“Fortunately, God sees you as equals whether the law does or not.” – The Apostle Paul (paraphrase)

The law was our guardian until Christ came; it protected us until we could be made right with God through faith. And now that the way of faith has come, we no longer need the law as our guardian.

For you are all children of God through faith in Christ Jesus.  And all who have been united with Christ in baptism have put on Christ, like putting on new clothes.  There is no longer Jew or Gentile, slave or free, male and female. For you are all one in Christ Jesus.  And now that you belong to Christ, you are the true children of Abraham. You are his heirs, and God’s promise to Abraham belongs to you. – Galatians 3:24-29

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Homosexuality and the Gentiles

I’m a pretty lucky guy.  I have lots of people in my corner who love and support me.  In fact, sometimes my corner gets a little crowded.  I don’t say that to brag or to make anyone feel bad about their situation… I’m just saying that I recognize I’m pretty fortunate.

Among the folks who have loved me through my journey are lots of really solid straight people.  Love ’em.  I mean… when you come out, you know the gay world will rally around you, and that’s great.  But when straight folks stand behind and beside you, it takes support to a whole new level.

Joe Hays has been one of these people for me. He’s a pastor who really lives the grace of God – a man whose support meant a lot to me during a tough time.  Joe has guest written here before, and hopefully will again.

Until then, I’d like to share a post from Joe’s blog titled “Homosexuality and the Gentiles.”  It’s a really provocative thought about why homosexuals should be both welcomed and affirmed in the church and by the Christian community at large.  Basically, Joe says that if the first Christians (who still considered themselves a Jewish sect) didn’t require circumcision from the Gentiles to be welcomed and affirmed by the church, then why should the modern church require heterosexuality as a ticket in?

Ok… he says it better than that, so click here and read the post for yourself….

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12 Steps to Supporting the LGBT Community in 2013

Ok – I know its been way, Way, WAY too long since I’ve posted, but my life has been bursting with change (and therefore the incredible amount of work and energy required to make change happen… right, Mr. Obama?).

Since I last posted, I…

  1. Finished a Master’s Degree
  2. Resigned my position at the non-profit where I worked with LGBT kids
  3. Was hired by a wonderful church in Nashville, TN that proudly serves and is served by the LGBT community
  4. Moved from New York City to Nashville, TN
  5. Bought a car (goodbye convenient public transportation!)
  6. Started aforementioned job and have been INCREDIBLY blessed by the people I work with (and around) in my new church.

So… cut me a break, eh?

As a welcome back present, I offer you the folowing… Patheos’ recent article “12 Steps to Becoming an LGBT Ally in 2013.”  It includes the following encouragement that’s sage advice both for straight folks who support the LGBT community AND those of us who identify as LGBT…

Read A LOT about being LGBT.
Read books, blogs that are written by gay folks.
Read books and blogs by allies.
Read authentic voices sharing true stories.

And read your holy texts.  Read for all the ways God is calling us into compassion and justice. If you are a Christian and are reading the Bible, go ahead and count the number of scriptural references to justice and compassion as compared to the number of times homosexuality (as understood in a particular, historical culture) is mentioned.  And Christians who are called to follow in the footsteps of that rabbi who fed the multitudes without asking for a dime, healed the sick (on the sabbath) without asking for insurance and died a criminal’s death – please carefully read for what Jesus had to say about homosexuality.

Click here to read the entire article

Whew… it’s good to be back.

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Jesus, I think I’m gay.

From our friends at Believe Out Loud.

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“Jesus never said a thing about gay people…”

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Abomination (n). Do you know what it means?

If you answered great big sin, something that makes God really mad, actions that send you to hell, or anything else in that ballpark, I’m (not) sorry to tell you that…. you’re wrong.

Back in the old, old days when the Old Testament was written, “abomination” didn’t mean “something that is wrong for everyone.”  Nope.  Instead, the folks who wrote the law we find in the Old Testament book of Leviticus (aka – Jewish folks) knew that an abomination was “something a very specific group of people has chosen not to do.”

It wasn’t “an action that is wrong.”  It was “an action that is wrong… for us.”

In other words…

Changes the way you think about the gay experience, doesn’t it?

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I’m All In.

“Owning our story and loving ourselves through the process is the greatest thing we will ever do. Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy – the experiences that make us the most vulnerable.

Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light. The willingness to tell our stories, feel the pain of others, and stay genuinely connected in this disconnected world is not something we can do halfheartedly. To practice courage, compassion, and connection is to look at life and the people around us, and say, ‘I’m all in.’”  -Brene’ Brown

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Why Christians Should Hug Men In Their Underwear

Who needs original content when you can share stories as wonderful as this one?!  It’s titled, “I hugged a man in his underwear.  I think Jesus would have, too.

It tells the story behind the picture you see here —————>

I don’t want to give too much away, but…

Watching people recognize our apology brought me to tears many times. It was reconciliation personified. 

My favorite though was a gentleman who was dancing on a float. He was dressed solely in white underwear and had a pack of abs like no one else. As he was dancing on the float, he noticed us and jokingly yelled, “What are you sorry for? It’s pride!” I pointed to our signs and watched him read them. 

Then it clicked. 

Then he got it. 

He stopped dancing. He looked at all of us standing there. A look of utter seriousness came across his face. And as the float passed us he jumped off of it and ran towards us. In all his sweaty beautiful abs of steal, he hugged me and whispered, “thank you.” 

Read the entire story here.

If the word “reconcile” isn’t already bouncing around in your brain… let me put it there for you.

Reconcile:  1) To cause a person to accept or be resigned to something not desired.  2) To win over to friendliness; cause to become amicable.  3) To compose or settle a quarrel, dispute, etc. 4) To bring into agreement or harmony.

Right?!

Obviously, many of our LGBTQ friends need to find a way to reconcile their sexual orientation and their faith.  Many of us also need to be reconciled with the church.  But let’s not forget that while it’s important for us to be reconciled (brought happily back together with) both our sexuality and the church, it’s even more important that we be won over by, brought into harmony with, and reconciled to God.

The Son is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. For in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through him and for him… For God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in him, and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through his blood, shed on the cross.

Colossians  1: 15 – 20

Don’t miss that the writer of Colossians tells us that God was PLEASED to reconcile all things to himself.  God was happy to do it.  The word the writer used for “pleased” literally means “found to be good by means of a test.”

The point?  God sat down and decided whether he thought being in a relationship with us – all of us – was a good idea… and decided that it was.  The idea of a relationship with us made God happy.  So God did what was necessary to make peace with us.

He didn’t make conflict, demands, or guilt.  He made peace.  With us.  All of us.  Just as we were.  Just as we are.  And so, perhaps we should follow the example of the underwear clad man above (and another son in another great story), and allow ourselves to be reconciled…

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Don’t Give Up On Christian Gays

An article titled “Do Not Give Up On Christian Gays” appeared in the Advocate – a national LGBT news magazine – last week.  The title says it all, right?

The young author makes an interesting case for the responsibility LGBT folks have for changing the church from the inside out.  (perhaps this is our calling?)  He says…

 The message [of the church I grew up in] was largely unspoken, yet crystal clear: If you don’t fit into a heterosexual identity, you aren’t welcome.

None of this was because church is unwelcoming in general. Everyone was welcomed on the same terms — being willing to repent from sin. Those who wouldn’t repent but wanted acceptance anyway were asking for special treatment. And being gay was a sin — a choice, a rebellion against God’s design.

Sadly, for LGBT kids in these communities, things are not getting better. And no matter how many moving videos are made or how many young people take their lives in despair, change will not come so long as the only voices of dissent are coming from the outside — from progressive Christians and the nonreligious. Change can be achieved within conservative Christianity, but it must come from within.

The trouble is, the best candidates for reforming these churches — the LGBT Christians who are in them — remain isolated and voiceless. When we do come out and try to gain acceptance, we’re shut down with antigay readings of Scripture. And if we aren’t prepared to articulate and defend our own theological understanding with all the fluency and gravitas of a biblical scholar, we’re shown the door.

Read the full article here.

So… what’r we to do?

I’ll never forget the summer night I stood on my back porch with fists raised to the sky and tearfully asked God, “what the hell am I supposed to do now?”  After more than a decade in ministry, I was stuck.  I could either continue living as a straight person (and deny who God had created me to be), or “come out” and be forced to walk away from my calling (because of who God had created me to be).

I was terrified.  It seemed like an impossible decision.  What was my responsibility to the church?  To my God?  To myself?

I eventually came to realize that I’m not built like a magnet, with two sides (the spiritual and the sexual) that automatically repel each other.  I am a Christian gay man.  These two identities are not in opposition to each other.  Like bacon and chocolate, they come together in an unexpectedly beautiful union.  This means that as a minister, I have the ability to work for the kingdom in a way that few others can.

Perhaps you do, too.

Friends, we gay Christians fill an important niche in both the gay and Christian communities.  We are bilingual – able to speak both LGBT and Christian.  We can either work from within the Church and tell the Christian community “there might be a better, more Godly way,” or we can work from within the gay community to spread the message that, “despite what you may have heard, God does not hate you.”

Either way, nobody can work for change like we can.  Nobody has a foot in two doors like we do.  Nobody has the potential to unify two feuding families like we do.

So… raise your fists to the sky if you must, but don’t give up on God.  God hasn’t given up on you.

update:  for an excellent, although slightly different, perspective on “working from the inside” (especially when you’re angry and/or confused by your experience with the church), check out this really nicely written post by John Shore titled “From Gay-Hating Fundie to Righteously Angry Lesbian.  Now What?”

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Dan Savage re: LGBT Affirming Churches

What does Dan Savage – LGBT activist and co-founder of the It Gets Better movement – think about LGBT affirming churches?  See for yourself…

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