I know I often sound like a broken record, saying things I’ve said dozens of times before. (fyi – I also know the “broken record” simile is totally 1972 and doesn’t work anymore, but I can’t think of an mp3 equivalent. I would welcome suggestions…)
Regardless – I believe it’s important for us to share our stories. They show us that our ideas aren’t weird and that we’re not the only ones who have felt/thought/believed something.
A good friend of mine – the talented artist who designed the “Stillforus” header you see above – recently came out to her dad. It was a pretty gutsy move and she’s currently navigating the aftermath.
Three days after she told her dad, my friend posted the following status update on Facebook. It’s brilliant. When you read her “things I have believed in chronological order” list, I think you’ll find yourself nodding your head and sympathetically mumbling “mmmmhhmmmm” a lot. Enjoy.
(If you’d like to send my friend an encouraging thought to help her through a pretty sh!tt% time, feel free to post it in the comments. I’ll be sure she gets your note…)
I finally told my dad, so now I can tell you what some of you know and what most of you don’t care, and that is that I’m gay. Things I have believed in chronological order:
- Gay people go to hell.
- Gay people don’t really exist–they’re just behaving gay.
- Gay can be fixed and changed through prayer and hard work.
- You can adopt traits of your own sex and learn to be more of a girl.
- This will bring forth a man.
- Homosexuality is the same as being predisposed to alcoholism.
- God loves all of us.
- God made us exactly as he wanted us to be.
- The Bible shouldn’t be read literally.
- The idea of God becomes bigger when you don’t read the Bible literally.
- I don’t believe in God.
- I don’t believe in the Bible.
- I’m too old for this crap.
- I’m tired of hearing about kids dying or getting picked on for being gay.
- I’m tired of hearing people called fags or dykes.
- I’m tired of feeling at home in Brooklyn because it seems to be the only place that feels safe.
- God doesn’t exist.
- Love the sinner, hate the sin isn’t actually love at all.
- I am gay
- It’s the only thing that has ever made sense to me.
- I lost my ability to pray.
- I’m studying the Bible.
- I’ve placed membership at a church that has a little bit of everybody.
- Sometimes I can see God.
- God is patient and hangs out anyway, even if you can’t always believe in him.
- I only want people in my life who are good and who will make me a better person.
- I’m gay.
- It wasn’t an accident.
- It’s not a sin.
I’ve lived in many places and met all of you somewhere along the way. A lot of you I know from home and from college. Those, I imagine, are the people who will have the hardest time with this news.
I come out for the kids who haven’t or can’t or don’t yet know why they’re so different. To them I say that you are loved and you are perfect.
If you find yourself so repulsed by this news, please unfriend me. If you feel God has put it on your heart to talk to me about my sin, he has not, and you should also probably unfriend me.
I am the same person today, as I was yesterday–only with a longer status update.
If you are shocked or surprised by this news, please do come forward as I have a trophy to give to the only person who didn’t know.